I posted this on my Facebook today in response to the great video someone put up of a rider totally letting go of his reins and trusting to allow his horse to figure out how to jump them out of the bad spot "they" got into with a combination.
It was the rider's misjudgment. The horse solved the problem. What kind of relationship do you have to have with your horse for that to happen?
When riders first start coaching with me, I usually end up hearing some blame being thrown around.
When you blame your horse for your problems, you put yourself in the victim mode. And victims are disempowered and angry people. It doesn't make for a good relationship with your horse. They can feel the judgment and disconnect.
You are either choosing to be the victim and therefore "going along for the ride" (or "being taken for a ride") or you are choosing to be a victor and you are riding from an empowered mindset of leading the team!
Accepting responsibility for the performance of your partnership is how you accept and then utilize the feedback from the ride. It is how you add the polish for your next round.
Disempowered victims make the same mistakes over and over. Why? Because they have "gifted" that important responsibility (and learning experience) over to "someone else." Not their fault, not their problem and therefore, not their place to fix it!
Horses appreciate authenticity, integrity and doing the best you can. Taking responsibility, or extreme ownership (not matter what), is the definition of trying your hardest to be the best that you can be. Become an honest partner and commit to doing your best and your horse will be more likely to respond in the same.
So, first you become the leader and take up the reins by taking extreme ownership, then you use that responsibility to do this … to let go when you need to!"
It doesn't take long for my clients to "get it" that they feel more empowered and they ride much better from that leadership mindset after they stop the blame game. (After all, who wants to walk around a disempowered victim when there are better options?)
And then they take that leadership mindset to the other areas of their lives!
Take up the reins, take a leadership position in your own life, and decide to maximize your riding and your life with one-on-one, breakthrough, transformational coaching.
With Warm Regards,
Breakthrough Mindset Coach & Resilience Trainer
Certified Strategic Interventionist